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Pakistan vs England 3rd ODI Live Stream Online 18-2-2012…
HOW TO WRITE A LIL WAYNE VERSE 101
1. Pick a Verb. Preferably a verb about running away from the law or from an assailant. I.E. Duck, Run, Dodge or maybe Stop, Drop or Roll. L'il Wayne LOVES stopping, dropping and rolling. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
2. Connnect the verb to some sort of simile. This is crucial. Every single L'il Wayne line must contain some sort of relatively obvious simile. So maybe you can "duck like Scrooge." "Run like a bloody nose." Or even "Dodge like Kansas." Also for bonus points talk about how "sweet" you are. L'il Wayne loves talking about being sweet like a Tahitian Treat or some other delicacy high in sucrose.
3. Mention "Slanging Keys." This is crucial to establish street cred. Don't pay attention to the fact that L'il Wayne's been famous since 12 and the only thing he knows about slangin' is that he speaks with it. After all, if you don't talk drugs how else can you impress the translucent music critics. This way they can also compare you to the Wire. (Just remember to connect all that "slanging keys" talk with a simile).
4. Declare that you are Weezy F. Baby. This will tell listeners who you are. Sure, they probably already know, but adding The "F" in the middle of the name uncertainly adds to Wayne's level of class. It makes him seem like F. Scott Fitzgerald. Exactly like F. Scott Fitzgerald. Whatever you do, don't attempt to ascertain what the "F" stands for. That my friends is a slippery slope. And whatever you do, don't think about what the "F" stands for while looking at a picture of Wayne and Baby making out.
5. Talk about hustling. Music critics love hustling. Presumably, they are devotees to the energetic style of basketball popularized by players like Ben Wallace, Kurt Rambis and Mark Madsen. This will make them feel at home. If there's anything music writers know about, it's hustling.
6. Talk about Baby. Call him your Daddy. Forget the fact that he's not actually your Daddy. Forget the fact that the majority of people that call other men "daddy" are prostitutes. It's unimportant. Mention something that Baby told you. Maybe that he told you that "these *****es is *****es." Or that he told you to "Turn around and stick out." (Maybe, he was just quoting Sir-Mix-A-Lot.) Ignore the fact that you call a man named "Baby," "Daddy." Let's just chalk that up to being a New Orleans thing.
7. Make some sort of obvious pop culture technology reference. Talk about IPods. Or Myspace. Or gigabytes. Something remotely technological. It will show that Wayne is not completely retarded (just partially) and might have actually read a newspaper once or twice. Which clearly means he is a genius.
8. Talk about how poorly you treat women. Perhaps you can claim how you'll "never love a *****." Or how you'll "never give a ho a damn thing." The more misogynistic the better. This will definitely do much to steer people away from those nasty "gay" rumors.
9. Apropos to nothing, make some sort of remark about Hurricane Katrina. No need to bother making it have anything to do with the rest of the verse. After all, never underestimate liberal guilt. Any sort of name-dropping will make liberals feel bad and they will forget the fact that Wayne is a multi-millionaire and anoint him the voice of the people. Also, be sure to make conspiracy theories like claiming that you heard George Bush blew up the levees. The more absurd the better. Go for it.
10. Proclaim yourself the "Greatest Rapper Alive."Forget the Fact that Wayne would be lucky to be included in a list of the Top 20 rappers working right now. Most music critics haven't listened to Hip Hop Made Before 1999 anyway (other than Public Enemy). If you proclaim yourself the greatest, you will be the greatest. Or at least people will be foolish enough to buy this canard.
Now you're On Your Way To Being Cash Money's Newest Ghost-Writer. Fame, Fortune (and anonymity) Await You. Feel free to produce your own little Wayne verse in the comments. Or just send it directly to Cash Money.
2. Connnect the verb to some sort of simile. This is crucial. Every single L'il Wayne line must contain some sort of relatively obvious simile. So maybe you can "duck like Scrooge." "Run like a bloody nose." Or even "Dodge like Kansas." Also for bonus points talk about how "sweet" you are. L'il Wayne loves talking about being sweet like a Tahitian Treat or some other delicacy high in sucrose.
3. Mention "Slanging Keys." This is crucial to establish street cred. Don't pay attention to the fact that L'il Wayne's been famous since 12 and the only thing he knows about slangin' is that he speaks with it. After all, if you don't talk drugs how else can you impress the translucent music critics. This way they can also compare you to the Wire. (Just remember to connect all that "slanging keys" talk with a simile).
4. Declare that you are Weezy F. Baby. This will tell listeners who you are. Sure, they probably already know, but adding The "F" in the middle of the name uncertainly adds to Wayne's level of class. It makes him seem like F. Scott Fitzgerald. Exactly like F. Scott Fitzgerald. Whatever you do, don't attempt to ascertain what the "F" stands for. That my friends is a slippery slope. And whatever you do, don't think about what the "F" stands for while looking at a picture of Wayne and Baby making out.
5. Talk about hustling. Music critics love hustling. Presumably, they are devotees to the energetic style of basketball popularized by players like Ben Wallace, Kurt Rambis and Mark Madsen. This will make them feel at home. If there's anything music writers know about, it's hustling.
6. Talk about Baby. Call him your Daddy. Forget the fact that he's not actually your Daddy. Forget the fact that the majority of people that call other men "daddy" are prostitutes. It's unimportant. Mention something that Baby told you. Maybe that he told you that "these *****es is *****es." Or that he told you to "Turn around and stick out." (Maybe, he was just quoting Sir-Mix-A-Lot.) Ignore the fact that you call a man named "Baby," "Daddy." Let's just chalk that up to being a New Orleans thing.
7. Make some sort of obvious pop culture technology reference. Talk about IPods. Or Myspace. Or gigabytes. Something remotely technological. It will show that Wayne is not completely retarded (just partially) and might have actually read a newspaper once or twice. Which clearly means he is a genius.
8. Talk about how poorly you treat women. Perhaps you can claim how you'll "never love a *****." Or how you'll "never give a ho a damn thing." The more misogynistic the better. This will definitely do much to steer people away from those nasty "gay" rumors.
9. Apropos to nothing, make some sort of remark about Hurricane Katrina. No need to bother making it have anything to do with the rest of the verse. After all, never underestimate liberal guilt. Any sort of name-dropping will make liberals feel bad and they will forget the fact that Wayne is a multi-millionaire and anoint him the voice of the people. Also, be sure to make conspiracy theories like claiming that you heard George Bush blew up the levees. The more absurd the better. Go for it.
10. Proclaim yourself the "Greatest Rapper Alive."Forget the Fact that Wayne would be lucky to be included in a list of the Top 20 rappers working right now. Most music critics haven't listened to Hip Hop Made Before 1999 anyway (other than Public Enemy). If you proclaim yourself the greatest, you will be the greatest. Or at least people will be foolish enough to buy this canard.
Now you're On Your Way To Being Cash Money's Newest Ghost-Writer. Fame, Fortune (and anonymity) Await You. Feel free to produce your own little Wayne verse in the comments. Or just send it directly to Cash Money.
Views: 0
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Tggdog on -
Lil wayne The Carter 11 :
refrigerators juice, i got braids with moose
kiss me baby im f**, like the old source mag
look there's b****** weezy crazy
dont write my rhymes
why... im lazy
i got a millie first week
cuz niggas gettin gay
take a look at my ass cheek
it says baby he to stay
wayne P****
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Permalink Reply by Matt09 on -
well put.....i actually enjoyed reading this as an article and not some two sentence outburst....plus this was funny because it is true......you forgot to add the laugh that he does like baby f weezy
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Permalink Reply by Arkan al-Turani on -
LMAO
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Permalink Reply by J-Scrilla on -
Lmao that s*** hilarious n**** lol
But tru tho
Yo notice in that pic
Niggas wus bangin blue back in da days
Now "I wear a red rag, like when them hos bleed" lol
F*** lil gayne!
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Permalink Reply by zenorockstar @... on -
this actually makes sense
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Permalink Reply by Lil Big Nasty on -
My name is Wayne, i'm hot like the crotch of a fat b****** pants
I'm a giant to you small guys, you're just ants
Stop writing my lyrics thinkin i'm trash
I'm only hot because you got me under the magnifying glass
Yall stupid
I spit like i'm toothless
Callin me gay? I could give you two s****
I rock tear drops but my gun cries shells
That's why niggas see me with the funny walk they p*** themselves
I go on a rage with the twelve gauge
One c*** will leave a squad slayed
I swear I draw like I know art
And I have more shells than mario kart
OR if I carry like the glock
I'll put one hand on the other hand
when I spot my enemy at 12 o'clock
See Wayne ain't completely wack
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Permalink Reply by zenorockstar @... on
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^^^ if thats a real weezy verse than hes worse than i thought
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Permalink Reply by east2thawest on -
ma name is weezy f baby
some say im crazzz-ay
lickn lollipops daily
toungue blisters since the eight-ays {in a squeaky voice} huhahh
weezy f sizzorhandz-call me da florist..
bn runnin dis rap game-yall can call me forest - huhaah
yaay, yall be runnin doo doo
call me thomas the tank engine
cos i choo choo choose you - huhaah
they call me michael cos im da king of pop
but i aint mr bubbles cos ma bubble wont pop
pop pop huhaah pop...pop
i wank myself till i go pop
huhaah
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