Hello pumpkin. I know I've neglected you over the years with all the cheating I've been doing on your mother. However, she and I had a discussion last nite after our make-up sex. It has been brought to my attention that you are entering adolescence and as any concerned father would do, I feel it is time to discuss the "birds and the bees" with my little girl!
You are entering a pivotal point in your life. As you begin your transition into womanhood, you will experience physical, mental, and emotional changes. All those boys that you've come so accustomed to playing Dragonball Z with may suddenly become attractive and you may feel desires to engage in lude sexual behavior. I highly advise against this sweetie. For those same boys are also going through changes and as they do, they only have one thing on their mind: deflowering virgins.
I know this is overwhelming sweetie. But as a man, I feel it is important for you to be aware of these harsh realities. Now, as far as your physical changes are concerned, I do not want you to be saddened or upset if your breasts do not develop as quick as the other girls your age. Please understand that every girl develops differently. In this day and age of celebrity obsession, I do not want you to get caught up in trying to be like the Kim Kardashians and Beyonce's of the world. The average woman doesn't look like that anyway, which is why those women are celebrities in the first place.
I would like you to watch this video. I know its a little dated, but the information contained within still holds true to this day:
Indeed, YOU ARE BECOMING A WOMAN! It is time for your mother and I to purchase training brassiers and tampax for our little EZ. Enjoy this time for it only happens once. Your mother will go into further details about your monthly cycle as she can explain it better than I can.
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EZ = EliZabeth R.I.P (Rest In P***)
''i'll never make the news again my man will shoot ya'' -Jay-Z